Friday, February 28, 2014

Chase Rice "Ready Set Roll" Single Review



     Country music needs someone to stand tall.  We need someone to fill the shoes of the greats.  George Jones, Waylon Jennings, and Johnny Cash are no longer with us.  We need a strong, intelligent, never compromising rebel leading the charge for country music.  Chase Rice is that man.  He has wit, talent, and poise.  If you were wondering what is our modern day "He Stopped Loving Her Today" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry", "Ready Set Roll" is your answer.


      This song blows me away.  The lyrics are so poignant and meaningful, its as if King David himself wrote them with the Psalms.  A good song speaks to true life.  You have to hear it and just feel the emotion.  "Damn pretty girl, you've done it again, you've gone and turned your sexy all the way up to 10".  That's deep.  Notice the genius use of the number 10.  This girl is NOT an 8 or 9.  Chase makes sure his women feels special, and nothing says special like a number instead of a name.  He tells her later to get her "fine little ass on the step".  Respect for women is for pansies.  Chase is a man's man, and treats his women like so.  Real outlaws objectify their dates, and Chase is a true outlaw.  Of course, step refers to running boards or step sides on his jacked up truck.  Chase is a smart guy, and he clearly understands the universal rule that you must have a big truck to be worth anything.  This guy gets it.

     This song also brings country music to the future with its arrangement and sound.  Fiddles and steel guitar? What is this, some kind of hoedown?  Recycled pop sounds from the last decade are the FUTURE man!  Nobody wants to hear those twangy instruments anymore, we want to dance!  Chase gets that, and eloquently graces our ears with the sweet stylings of legends like T-Pain and Katy Perry .  Real country legends!  The beat is hip-hop, and the lyrics are country (trucks, beer, girls... man, he gets us country folk so well)...  Evolution!!!  Some will say this is a ploy to combine different demographics to ensure maximum cash flow.  But you know what those people are? Haters! 

     That brings me to my next point.  Chase Rice is more than just one timeless song.  He has the personality and intelligence to be the leading star in country music.  He never backs down to his haters, by calling them haters on his twitter!  Seriously! He calls them haters right to their (digital) faces!  He has nerves of steel, that's for sure.  And clever.  I'm sure those people bugging him about being "not really country" and "talentless" and "unimaginative hack trying to piggy back off the success of the most unimaginative hacks in the business Florida Georgia Line by being even more bland and monotonous" feel REALLY stupid now!  He even put up a picture of a truck in the moonlight and told the haters to "suck on this".  He is so bold and daring!!  When a hater gave him some beef, he told that hater he would keep making his generic non-country music and keep selling out shows!  He gets it!  All that matters is the party!  People who worry about "substance" and "a message" are just losers!  Chase does know a little about substance though, if you know what I mean!  He also drops awesome pearls of wisdom like "To do something radical, you have to do something radical" and "you choose what you choose to choose".  Brilliant!  Those could be great songs, if they were about beer.  But let's not forget the most important part: his looks!  He is clearly a handsome, well built fellow, but he has  stubble and a backwards hat, which clearly show he also a rebel.  Nobody wants to listen to a guy that looks like a hobo sing boring crap, or even worse, an old person!  Chase is young, good looking, and sings about real stuff like parties and trucks. 

      Chase Rice has it all.  What more could you ask for in a country music star?  He is blending genres and bringing the party everywhere he goes.  Nobody else in country music is making music like he is right now, he is totally original and unique.  "Ready Set Roll" is a modern classic and Chase Rice is a legend in the making.  #swag #yolo




7 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Yes sir, 100%. I wouldn't wish this song on my worst enemies.

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    2. This is the best review I have ever read of this song. Sarcasm was the only way to tackle it. Well done.

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  2. I approve of this review. Well done! As I've said elsewhere, never mind being country, this crap barely even qualifies as music.

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    1. Its just marketing and demographic targeting! The loosest definition of music!

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  3. Ok, it's just sometimes it's hard to see that. Just to clarify I hate this song too, but sarcasm isn't the best way to communicate it. It isn't very honest and I kept thinking about the person who actually likes a song like this. They might read the first bit of this review and say "Hey this guy who knows a lot about country music likes this song!" I like your blog and keep it up! But just as a tip, leave huge amounts of sarcasm out.

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    1. Sarcasm isn't usually my thing on here, but there is only so many ways to say this song sucks before you get repetitive, so I wanted to try something different. I wouldn't get used to it on here. Thanks for the support and thanks for reading!

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